this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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