i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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