I didn't shave. On purpose
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
