Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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