I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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