You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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