Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
