I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
