And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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