How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
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