Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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