WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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