Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
