i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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