I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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