How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
