I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
