just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
