he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
