This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
