is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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