He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
