Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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