either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
