I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
