If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
