Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
