Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
