O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
