so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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