You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
