I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
