That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
