the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
