Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
