Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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