Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
