My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize