Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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