just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
