Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So apparently I’m into choking now
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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