Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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