i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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