I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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