So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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