you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
