haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
