i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
