How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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