Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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