I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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