fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
