i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
