I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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