the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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