and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Less talking, more tequila
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
