the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
