I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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