youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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