Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
