Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
